Navigating sex and dealing with PCOS and endometriosis has been quite the never ending battle you could say. With saying that… until recently I have not put in the time my body deserved in understanding the somatic/physical response between the conditions and my sex life. It is so important to understand not only the physical but also the deep rooted embodied response as well. 

Speaking up when sex is painful can feel near impossible, especially when we’re conditioned to just “deal with it.” Shame-free pleasure is about letting go of culturally-engrained narratives we’re conditioned to abide by, and self-advocating not only during the best of times but during the hard times too. It’s often assumed that communicating boundaries is a bad thing, when in fact it sets a foundation of trust so that both partners can fully relax and enjoy.

As humans, we are hard-wired to want to put things into neat boxes with distinct labels, but when it comes to sex and sexuality, there are about a million little factors that contribute to our relationship to self and to partner(s) that simply won't fit into a box... no matter how hard you try. This binary mindset around libido - either you have it or you don't have it - eliminates the MANY different things that contribute to our experiences of arousal and desire.

Aftercare is something that has been adopted from the BDSM world. In BDSM, aftercare is a period of time after a play session that allows for a check-in, care, and a safe space to come down from the emotional high that may have come along with play. It’s a really great practice that anyone can use - even if you’re not into BDSM.